Sunday, March 13, 2011

The start of a very emotional rollercoaster

So this weekend has had definate ups and downs. Lets start from the beginning.

Friday- Friday started as any normal day and work was fine (besides getting yelled at for no reason) but the hard thing that happened at work was that one of the little ladies that I am close to was put onto hospice and was taking a quick downturn. She waves goodbye to be every night when I leave the office and it was hard to go into her room and see her the way she was. When I got home I was already emotional from everything that had happened at work and it didn't get any better. The second I walk into the house it seemed as if it was Pick on Colleen Day. I let them all say what they had to and just choked back tears.

Finally later that night I was able to lay in bed and read and have very nice quite time. That is until my mom came in to say goodnight. She asked why I kept saying that I can't wait to get out of this house and thats when the flood gates started. I couldn't hold it in. I told her how scared I was and that no one in this house understands what I'm going through at all. I can't say anything about Kyle without my sister rolling her eyes. I know she is going through her own thing and is just jealous but its hurtful. So through the whole conversation I finally got all of my tears out that I had been holding for a long time that I was even hyperventatling. It was pretty scary. The last time that happened was at Sharon's funeral and I never thought it would happen again.

Saturday was better but was still an emotional day. I realized that a month from Saturday would be the last time I get to kiss Kyle for seven- plus months. I will not be able to send him off so the last time I get to see him will be predeployment leave. It is still unbelievable that it has come so fast. Never thought it would but just gotta work through it.

And today. No complaints. It has been any normal Sunday. Making porkchops for dinner. Should be delicious. Other than that, Army Wives and Coming Home are on tonight so i'll need the tissues again for that.

Thats my update for the weekend! Counting down the days till I see that handsome boyfriend of mine come down the stairs at Bradley Airport <3

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